Why 3 Kids Is More Stressful Than 4
Date: May 8, 2013Category: Author: Infinity Dental Web
Logically, one would assume the more children a mother has the more stressed she will be. According to a recent Today.com online survey of over 7,000 U.S mothers, that isn’t true.
In fact, it’s just the opposite. Going from one to two children was ‘an easy, breezy transition’ reports mother of three Jill Smokler who runs a parenting blog Scary Mommy and published a book on the subject. But then she says ‘two to three, everything was turned upside down. I do not feel like I have it together.’
Researchers call it the Duggar Effect (named after the family of the TLC show “19 Kids & Counting). It’s the idea that once you have a certain number or ‘critical mass’ of kids, life seems to get easier. Why is that though? Perhaps New York based psychiatrist Janet Taylor has the answer.
A mother of four (including a set of twins) ranging from ages 19-25, she says, ‘The more children you have, the more confident you become in your parenting abilities. You have to let go… and then you’re just thankful when they all get to school on time.’
Taylor also says it’s less about perfectionism and more about survival. She recommends to the stressed-out moms she sees in her practice to learn to say no and make more time for yourself, even if it’s just going for a walk.
Just how stressed are moms these days? According to the survey, mom’s reported an average stress rating of 8.5 on a scale of 1 to 10. Among the things they stress about are money, balancing demands of work and home, and 46% said dealing with a spouse who sometimes acts like another child.
Though the biggest contributor to stress reportedly was the lack of time to get everything done, 75% of moms admitted they stress over the pressure to be perfect — but not because others expect it or because they feel judgement from other moms. In other words, it’s self-induced stress.
Karen Hobert Flynn, another mother of four, manages to keep stress at bay while working a full-time job just like her husband. She says having four boys has its perks: each has a built-in playmate at home. Her advice for mothers to keep stress levels low are “Staying organized, connecting with other moms, cultivating good babysitters, relying on her husband” and not taking life too seriously.
Dr. Mike Malone and his team practice expert cosmetic dentistry in Lafayette, LA. Dr. Malone is the former president and current accredited member of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry. He is also the official Cosmetic Dentist of the Miss Louisiana USA and Miss Louisiana Teen USA pageants. Check out his website for more information.